We don't want to put ourselves in a vulnerable situation again and when you open up about yourself, that's exactly what you're doing. Of course, we hope it won't be reminiscent of the past, but we do assume the worst longer than most. But some of us once fell so hard for a guy, that we were blind to see that he was taking advantage of us and kept hurting us purposely. If you tell us you love us and we look at you weird, it's not that the feeling isn't mutual; rather, we're still a bit unclear as to what about us might be appealing or lovable to someone else. Kirsten Corley Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leavea book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words. When it happens, it can be frightening.
They can easily be perceived as "cold" because they won't be as affectionate and open with their words and actions, he says.
What You Should Know About Dating An Abuse Survivor
But be sure to remember that you are not their therapist and you are not responsible for their healing, Wanis says. We might also associate romance with pain; we need patience, persistence and reassurance. She has been through so many things that made her stronger. We'll keep you at arm's length, might not text you back immediately, and definitely won't want to spend too much time with you. She has been through hell and back, so she needs some extra time to realize who her priority is and who her option is.